Cursing Love
by kyouya-haruhi-forever
Summary: Why do the boys in Alice Academy find both Mikan and Hotaru somehow unreachable? How far will they go to chase the one that they love especially when they know there is a really high price to pay for it? How about a 'burning' love?
1. Prologue

**Cursing Love**

Disclaimer: uuuum…. Not mine, yup… definitely not mine…..

PROLOGUE

Guys always like adventure. Challenge, some may say. The thrills and excitement boost their adrenaline and egos. And liking a girl is just like another adventure for most of the guys. The harder they get the more excited they were to go all the way. Well, this can be seen in most of the cases anyway (well written and explained thoroughly in a lot of psychology textbooks or self-help literature about boys and girls).

However, it will be a totally different story if the girl that they like happens to be Mikan or Hotaru. None of these books can help us to understand them and their love life. Those two are the weirdest girls alive here in Alice Academy. Not that this particular school is normal anyway in the first place. And nobody can say that they are not pretty or unattractive that they have to be categorized as weird. On the contrary, both of them are the most stunningly beautiful girls in Alice Academy especially in the Middle School Branch. Nevertheless, both of them are always seemed unreachable. Okay, I cannot comment too much for Hotaru since she is always hard to understand and stoic most of the times. But what about Mikan? She's the nicest girl around who always seems available and friendly to anyone, both males and females. Why does she also seem to be out of reach anyway?

It's already 3 years since Mikan set her first step in Alice Academy. Now she is one of the Middle School students here along with lots and lots of new students as the time goes by.

The Class B from Elementary Branch will be divided into two classes once the students finish their elementary level to enter Middle School. This is due to the increasing number of the students attending Elementary Branch every year. Later on, the Academy will separate the Middle School students into three different classes once they enter High School Branch to make sure that the class runs efficiently and as effective as possible (at least that's what's mentioned in the school's brochure anyway).

Much to Mikan's delight, she's still in the same class as Hotaru and Yuu, her best friends ever in Alice Academy. Although Hotaru did not show any kind of emotion with Mikan's remarks on how happy she is to know that she will be together with Hotaru at least till they finish Middle School, deep down, I mean really deep down, she feels happy too.

Well, this is when our little adventure begins. The story about of a bunch of middle school guys who are not, I repeat, are not close to both girls but feel attracted to either one of the girls. They wanted to somehow conquer the heart of the not so ordinary princesses of Alice Academy nonetheless. These guys are just as normal as any other pre-teens; struggling with hormones and new mixed-up emotions like love, despair, and jealousy despite the fact that they have alices.

They embark their journey now much to our delight, I might say, since that will give us the chance to entertain ourselves. Here we go……


	2. First Story Part 1

Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice, for sure, will never belong to me. Sadly, I only have the plot of this story.

**CURSING LOVE**

**First Story: Is Love Really a Bad Thing?**

_**Part 1**_

Name: Tetsuya Honda

Age: 13

Alice: Bubble

Type: Special Ability

Love Interest: Mikan

-- I --

I always like Special Ability Class meetings among all other classes that I have. We always have a great laugh and everyone is really kind and friendly. This year is my second year attending this academy. I always know that I am not a weirdo. Although people back at my town were always seeing my like I am a clown (because I could do tricks, some of them said, or plainly because it is not common for any person to be able to blow bubble out of your own breath, no soap needed). Later I know, that my ability as weird as it sounds has a name; 'alice.'

Even in Alice Academy, my alice is not a common alice. Thus, I have to attend Special Ability (SA) Class uniquely designated for those people who have uncommon alices. In this class (even when finally I feel a sense of belonging towards Alice Academy) for the first time of my life I feel like I am home. And in this place, I have my first ever crush, sweet and painful (later on I found out that it literally _is _painful) love that I will find it forever hard to forget.

If you ever wonder who my first crush is, it is not very hard to find out. Basically almost everyone in the class likes her; I even doubt it if there is one single person here in Alice Academy who hates her. She is the nicest person ever that comes to my life, and I always feel very lucky to be in the same class as well as having the same type of alice as her (thus I meet her even more often during our SA class). And even with the division of Elementary Branch this year to enter Middle School Branch, luck is still on my side since I still be in the same class with her. Do you know whom am I talking about now? Yes, you guess it right. She is indeed Mikan Sakura.

Just like any normal lesson in SA class, noises, chatters and other incomprehensible sounds can be heard even from miles away. Today is no difference from any other days. I am glancing around the class, trying to look for a particular person that makes my heart bubbles (although only figuratively, since sadly, my alice produces real bubbles). She is not yet in. Yet I am not surprise. Along the years I know her, punctuality has never been in Mikan Sakura's dictionary anyway. I spend some boring minutes talking with some of the boys at the back of the classroom although every now and then darting my eyes to the door, hoping that I will see her soon.

Soon enough, I hear her perky voice calling "Tsubasa sempai….. Misaki sempai…. I miss you guys…."

I cannot help myself to smile at the scene where she hugs both sempais till their heads incidentally bang each other.

"Hey…hey…. We just meet couple of days ago at Central Town anyway; people might think that we have been separated for years…" Tsubasa said, although grinning very wide to Mikan while Misaki nods in agreement with her boyfriend's statement.

"But why? Should we only miss others only if we are not seeing them in years apart?"

At her question, both Tsubasa and Misaki apparently find no suitable answer. She always like that, asking simple, sweet, and innocent kind of questions that no matter how simple it is, it always makes others ponder on how to answer her.

She glances towards her surrounding and states more to herself rather than any particular person in the class "I am home."

Upon hearing her words, I could not restrain myself from whispering "Welcome back" while I took a chance to look at her direction.

Amazingly, she seems to hear me although I swear my voice is barely audible with all the noises around me, but hey, I am not complaining! She looks into my eyes and greets me with her cheerful smile "Hi Honda-Kun…. It is always nice to be here right?"

I smile at her and could not help thinking that probably if I am being honest with myself; the biggest reason why it always feels nice is that I will be able to see her for some more hours. I do not understand it as well, but it seems whenever I see her, I can feel weird sensation inside my chest; a mixture between a slight pang and sweet feeling that I could not comprehend myself.

-- II --

Later part of the SA class, we have decided to have an entertainment project at the Alice Hospital. Noda sensei agrees that we could use our alices to entertain the patients at the hospital.

"We need to divide our members into smaller groups I think, or should I say WE think" Misaki stated in unison with her doppelgangers.

"I agree on that, we can somehow select a pair of students to be in charged for the event based on elementary, middle school and high school branch so it is easier for you guys to meet if you need to discuss the matters in details" added Noda sensei. "Now what's left is to pick the representatives…. Any suggestions?"

"I think you can leave it to me and Misaki for the high school rep, Noda sensei, we are the best team anyway" Tsubasa stated while winking at his girlfriend and earns him a jerk on the back of his head from her.

"Okay, how about Middle School and Elementary Branches, any volunteers?"

Mikan raises her hands and said "I want to do it Noda sensei."

Part of me wants to say out loud that if Mikan is the representative for the Middle School Branch then let me be her partner, but will it be too obvious?

While thinking to myself, I jerked my head in realization that everyone in the class stares at me. "Eeeeh????"

"….I said would you be my partner, Honda-Kun?" asked Mikan; leaving me speechless for a whole minute before I answer (with a tremble at the edge of my voice and I hope everyone is oblivious about this) "…yeah…sure…. I will be glad Sakura-Chan."

-- III --

The SA class finally comes to an end. Much to my delight, Mikan asked me whether I want to join her for a tea break so we could have further discussions about the upcoming event. We are in the midst of discussing about it while walking towards the tea lounge at the west wing of Middle School Branch Hall when our steps halt.

The sole reason of the abrupt halt is because at that exact moment, an unnerving cold voice broke into our conversation. "Hey, idiot! I thought your class supposed to end half an hour ago? What took you so long?"

Then I saw him; the infamous Hyuuga Natsume in front of us, or Mikan, to be exact since somehow I have the impression that he opted not to look at my direction at all.

"Hmph! I remembered telling you so many times now, Natsume, I prefer to be called by my REAL name!" Mikan pouted cutely before she informed him further "We have a slight delay because our class decided to have an event to entertain the patients at Alice Hospital soon, so we need to discuss the details."

After tapping her chin lightly for couple of seconds, Mikan with an energetic smile telling Natsume, whom still looking intently at her, "And guess what? I took this chance to be the representative of SA Middle School Branch, I even recommend Honda-Kun here to be the representative with me. It will be a totally awesome event, Natsume….."

The rest of her sentences seemed to fade away since at that exact moment I was too stunned with the situation; the black cat's gaze changed abruptly from Mikan to well, ME! I swear to God that somehow his gaze seemed like burning a hole in my body and I secretly wished to be somewhere else or to be invisible. My whole body feels numb and really hot as if burning with fire from inside my body only by his stares; oddly enough, I can barely move either my eyes or my feet away from him.

"Hey, Natsume!!! Are you even listening to what I just said????" Mikan's yelling made him broke our eye contacts and somehow it brought me back into reality and realized that my body is sweating profusely. The burning feeling inside my body still lingers for a couple of minutes and it brings an uncomfortable feeling around my spine.

"What Polka-dots? Don't tell me that finally you have enough brains to suggest that you will be able to be in charge of this event?" Natsume answered lazily.

"Don't be stupid Natsume! I am not working alone; don't you hear me that Honda-Kun will be in charge in this event _together_ with me? Like what many people said, working together makes the burden lighter. As sad as it may sound, you of all people will never grasp this concept. A self-centered and egomaniac person like _you_ to actually try to understand the real meaning of teamwork probably will be as impossible as teaching a _cow_ to do a tap dance!"

"Is it true? In your eyes, am I really _that_ bad?" It was barely audible for me to hear his words yet I shudder a bit as if there's an ice stabbing in every word that he hissed. And when he stared at me once again, I know that somehow, my simple (first) love life turns out to be not _that_ simple anymore.

--- to be continued ---

**A/N:** Hi to all of you, this is my first fanfic ever. It's been so long since I last typed any stories. I hope that this story will entertain all of you. The whole fanfic is titled "Cursing Love." Although "Cursing Love" might sound a bit harsh, (although I do believe that sometimes no matter how many times we curse our failing love life, we end up to be in love again) however it will explain the bigger picture of the stories anyway.

I planned to make several different stories with different guys as the main characters; of course with their own love interests be it Mikan or Hotaru. For now, I am still in the process of writing the first story titled: _Is Love Really a Bad Thing?_ I will be writing the second story once I completed this one.

Thanks for the reviews for **crazygirl18** and **memorie**, I hope I am not disappointing you so far with this story. To other readers, please give me some feedbacks, I will surely appreciate it.


	3. First Story Part 2

Disclaimer: The only thing I can claim is the plot of this story. The rest….. definitely never belongs to me

**CURSING LOVE**

**First Story: Is Love Really a Bad Thing?**

_**Part 2**_

-- IV --

I have never been anywhere near the black cat before. I even doubt if he knows my name or my existence in Alice Academy in the first place. During the time we were in the same class back then when both of us still attending Elementary Branch; we never even spoke to each other, not even once. I know it very well since the first day I entered Alice Academy that he always kept a distance from anyone with the exception of Ruka Nogi, as I understand that he is the one and only best friend that he ever has. He never even bothered to mingle with the rest of the classmates. The only thing he did when he was inside the class was either read his manga or slept.

Still, nobody did anything to disturb him or try to close the distance between him and the rest of the classmates. It was as if everyone has come to a silent agreement that it was without a doubt the treatment that the black cat hoped to receive from his classmates. Even Ruka Nogi, I noticed, was rarely starting any kind of conversation with him; as if expecting that his best friend really indeed fond of the silent treatment that all the classmates gave him. Well, or should I say with only one single exception; Mikan Sakura.

It always seems like a ritual for her to greet everyone with her big eyes and innocent smile (even up until today). And it seemed Natsume Hyuuga was not an exception for her ritual greeting habits. She always greeted him every single day back then without even an ounce of hesitation that there was a chance that the black cat might not like to be disturbed (even by her). He always snapped with her greetings, never forgot to threaten her that the one thing he would surely do was to burn her curly hair into crisp if he found out that the next morning she still insisted on greeting him.

However, the day for Natsume Hyuuga to really do what he promised to do to her (i.e. burning her hair) never came although she continued to greet him every single day without fail as if she never heard the threat at all. The pattern kept repeating between the two of them; the greeting and the threat; for the remaining years in the Elementary Branch until they separated in different classes when all of us entered Middle School. When the two of them attending different classes, she still has her hair fully intact (much to my relief) yet somehow the pattern ceased without anyone ever realize it (probably simply that nobody cares about it in the first place anyway). I always thought that the pattern most likely ceased due to the class division and never really think too much of it anymore now.

Now, however, here I am. I am standing in such a close proximity with the infamous black cat, only being separated by Mikan Sakura who walks leisurely between us. We are walking towards the west wing for a cup of tea as planned by Mikan before. I do imagine a lot of times in different kind of scenes to have a chance of having a good conversation with her while drinking tea or whatever. However, it never occurred in my mind, not even once, that it will be like this with the three of us walking side by side. This is way too wild and blatantly weird even in my own imagination let alone to realize that it really does happen today. With him around, somehow my instinct (or guts to be exact) told me ever so frequent every now and then that this is not the wisest decision from me to somehow _entangle_ my life with Natsume Hyuuga.

Mikan still talks merrily about the upcoming event of the SA class that will take place in Alice Hospital. She is not even troubled with the intensity of the atmosphere around her, although I know, beside punctuality; observant is yet to be found in Mikan Sakura's dictionary. She seems completely oblivious with the muttering and whispering from our surrounding while we are walking towards the tea lounge. Although I might say that the other person next to her was no different. The latter however, seemed could not even care less about what is happening with his surrounding. While lazily answering "Hmph…" "Hn…" and other incoherent words to answer Mikan's questions, his eyes were just looking straight focusing on nothing in particular.

To make things worse, I still manage to catch up on some conversations from the chatters around us (not that they are bother to tone down in the first place anyway).

"…Wow! He's pretty daring walking with that Hyuuga….."

"Who is he anyway?… I wonder what is his relation with Hyuuga.."

"Didn't you hear of what happened with the last person walking with _him _couple of months ago???…."

"…He's been discharged from the hospital only couple of weeks ago…_traumatized_ that's what I heard."

I was seriously getting more and more annoyed (and somehow increasingly nervous) with the chatters from the people around me who are still talking as if we are not in there (or at least they thought that we, or _me_ to be _specific_, cannot hear their whisperings). Thus, I cannot help but to feel relief once we reached the tea lounge, which for me somehow seemed like a very far distance today, compare to any other day that I ever visited here.

-- V --

Once we reached the entrance of the tea lounge someone called from behind.

"Hey, Natsume! I have been looking for you this whole afternoon. Where have you been?"

It is very easy to deduct that it must be Ruka Nogi who called him since it is not common for anyone in Alice Academy to address the black cat with such closeness. As far as I know, he is the only person who addresses Natsume with his first name and not his family name, well with the exception of Mikan. I am not sure the reason on why she calls him by his first name, and even unsure on why the black cat seemed agreeable on her calling him on a first name basis. The one thing that I am sure is that Mikan always calls him with first name while not even once I ever heard him calling her with her real name. He always calls her with the weirdest assortments of nicknames that I did not even know how it came up to his mind.

"I was unluckily meeting this baka girl on my way to meet you" answered Natsume, not even bothered to look at the person behind him. "Hn…I think since we have met here, let's just come in and talked inside." He added nonchalantly.

Mikan only raised her eyebrow and said "Hey Natsume! For your information I am _not_ a baka girl you know, and I never asked you in the first place to follow me here anyway."

"Yeah, right. And who said that I was following you, Polka-dots? Don't judge yourself too high or people might have the impression that you _actually _want _me_ to follow you here."

By the end of the sentence, Mikan shot him with her angriest look that she could muster, grabbed my wrist and said, "Let's just ignore him, Honda-Kun, it is better for us to discuss _our_ business and ignore this pervert at any rate."

To be honest with myself, I am torn between the happy feelings that swell inside my chest when she grabbed my hand and we went, hand in hand, looking for a place to sit inside the tea lounge. Yet I could not erase the uneasiness feelings inside me that somehow keep squeezing my heart when for the third time since I met him today, I realized when I incidentally glanced at his direction that his eyes was boring straight at me with the same intensity just like what he did on our very first encounter awhile ago.

His expression is unfathomable, yet I could swear somehow I could _feel_ rather than _see_ the anger and hatred emanating from his perfect composure. I just hope that it is just me who think too much on the whole situation. However absurd it may seem, I _really_ hope that I am _indeed_ thinking too much.

-- to be continued --

**Author's babble:** Wow, apparently the excitement of writing something gives me extra powerful energy to keep me going after a very tiring night. Thank you very much for your support through your reviews and I hope more reviews will be coming in.

Thank you so much for **lysabelle**, **glenda23**, **Colette G**, **honey-kun**, and **natsumeluvr** for your wonderful support and I will try my best not to disappoint you guys with the story so far.

NB: This is once again, is a re-uploaded version with a slight change here and there. Thanks a lot to **crazygirl18** once again for your feedback. I greatly appreciate it.

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	4. First Story Part 3

Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice is not mine. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

**CURSING LOVE**

**First Story: Is Love Really a Bad Thing? **

**_Part 3 _**

-- VI --

The tea lounge is not nearly as big as the cafeteria, but it is definitely more comfortable and exquisite than the latter. There is one tea lounge and one cafeteria for each branch in Alice Academy. While the cafeteria's purpose is to serve meals for the students within three prescheduled eating hours (i.e. breakfast, lunch and dinner) and the food served for the students differed based on their star ranks, the tea lounge is much more flexible than that. Its main purpose is to give the students the flexibility to have light meals, tea break and desserts at whatever leisure time that they like although they have to pay for whatever they order here, unlike the cafeteria in which the students need not to pay. Furthermore, the tea lounge is always be the students' favorite place to hang around, have group studies, and catch up with the latest gossips from other classes and other social activities that the students can think of. Most of the students find it too troublesome for them to go to Central Town during schooldays with the amount of school stuffs that they still need to do and going to the library is way too dull to most of them.

Therefore, it is an ordinary thing to see that the tea lounge is always quite pack during afternoon time and full with chatters, laugh and silly alice activities, although some of them really _do_ trying to study and discuss some schoolwork. And today is no exception, just like any other day during afternoon time after classes; it is quite hard to find empty seats in the tea lounge.

The sound level inside the tea lounge can level up and make any cheering contests proud. Nobody really took any notice that there are possibilities for the people inside the lounge to have a hearing problem in the future if they keep continue to be exposed in such situation. They always disregard completely of such risk by merely shrugging off any of the staffs' comments on this particular issue.

Nonetheless, people from the outside of the tea lounge cannot hear any kind of voices due to the fact that the room is professionally installed with soundproof, bulletproof, and always being equipped with the latest anti-destruction sensors just like any other rooms in Alice Academy. The main reason for this is very much simple; because there is no real ordinary day in Alice Academy compare to any ordinary day of the people living outside the academy, thus any kind of precaution is always necessary (well-mentioned and well-written in the school guidebook).

When I opened the doorknob of the tea lounge (Mikan, while still holding my wrist, kept shooting Natsume her angry look while he only gave her the slightest hint of a smirk), the voices and noise are very much audible and can be heard even from afar. However, soon after we are searching for an empty table, all the voices and noise died down in a very rapid manner. Even some of the staffs inside looked very confused, since for them this is probably the first time ever that a total (furthermore, all of a sudden) silent happens in the history of the tea lounge in the Middle School branch.

As if all the people inside the tea lounge have some automatic sensors, all of them eyeing the people whom are just walking in casually toward our direction with different kind of facial expressions. Although every inch of fiber inside my body has told me who the most _likely_ people responsible for this sudden silence are, I cannot help myself but to reconfirm my suspicion (although I do pray that let it not be _them _or to be specific:_ him). _

Albeit I know that it needs a lot of miracles to _stop_ them from coming, especially when Natsume himself mentioned to his best friend that he wanted to have a talk in the tea lounge, I still hope that he cancelled his plan in the last minute. And yet, my prayer is futile; they _are_ really here.

-- VII --

When Mikan finally found us a table for two in the center of the tea lounge, somehow I personally thought that it was not very wise decision for us to sit in there. Sitting in the center part of the tea lounge always catches attention easier rather than sitting in any other parts, and I do not want it, especially right now. Nevertheless, I stole a very quick glance towards the surrounding of my seat and found it very relieving that somewhat there is no empty table available nearby our seats.

However my happiness does not stay for long. I could not help but feeling crestfallen once I found out that _they_ have managed to find a table only slightly across our table. Apparently once he stepped in towards the lounge, he got a total attention from almost everyone inside (well, it can be deducted easily with the sudden silence anyway). Only with the slightest gesture that somehow he wanted to have that seat, the group of girls who are currently sitting there could not restrain themselves from giggling and more than happy to give him their seats. I just hope that he did not sit in there with a _purpose _or somehow if he was indeed coming in with a purpose, do _not_ let me be entangled in it.

I secretly wished that once we sat down and talked, I could forget all the thoughts that jumbling upside down inside my mind and shrug it off. At the thought that probably it was only paranoia after all, I felt much calmer.

When at least I could breathe more normal than before and think that this afternoon is not that bad (especially when I though that this was an-almost-a-date kind of thing with Mikan), I was completely, utterly wrong. Bad is actually an understatement and I could not think of the correct word to express how bad the whole situation could turn out when I saw Kokoroyomi passed by our table as if on cue towards Natsume and Ruka and sat beside the latter without further ado.

-- VIII ---

I always try to keep a distance with Kokoroyomi once I found out that he has a mind reading alice. I know that it is probably unfair for him since he is not the one to blame of having such a troublesome alice in the first place. However I like to keep my mind and thoughts in private and having him around sometimes makes me feel like I am running around naked and somewhat exposed. Let's just say that it is not wise to be around Kokoroyomi if you are having a troubled mind.

I kept reminding myself not to think about anything at all, but it is easier said than done. With Mikan in front of me, looked a bit flushed because of the anticipation for the SA event, it is an almost impossible task for me to keep my mind blank.

"I think it will be whole lot of fun to work as a group Honda-Kun, since there are only 6 of us from Middle School branch anyway," said Mikan, slightly frowning, looking for her stationary inside her bag.

I could not restrain myself from laughing lightly at her flustered face, while she took out all the things inside her bag one by one, still searching for the missing stationery. It is just way too cute, I think.

When Mikan raised her eyebrow looking at me with a confused look, I tried to explain to her while still failing to suppress my laugh. "Don't you think that if your pencil case is really inside your bag, you would have found it by now without having to take everything out?"

Mikan laughed heartily and said "Hahahaha… you're correct, probably I left it either in our regular class or SA class. It is not the first time my stationery went missing anyway."

I tried to make an apologetic facial expression while saying "You can use mine and write things that we need to do the next time we gather with the rest of the guys."

When I was reaching for my bag, within a second I knew that somebody was looking at me. It was very easy to notice anyway since Natsume chose to sit facing at my direction as if wanted to make sure that he did not want to miss anything out. While he kept staring at me with his cold eyes, his lips were barely moved. Yet I know that he was involved in a quite heated arguments with the two people in front of him once I saw his expression and the way Ruka shook his head as if disagree with whatever things mentioned by him.

I could not catch any words from their conversation since the tea lounge once again filled with voices and laughter once Natsume sat down. Nevertheless, my instincts tell me not to think about _anything_ in particular, just in case Kokoroyomi break into my traitorous mind. However, on a second thought, I think I am really overreacting about this, I mean; I do _not_ have any reason to feel that Kokoroyomi will single me out from the crowd and barging into my mind anyway. What is there to gain for him anyway? We are _not_ even in the same class anymore now. Still, he_ is_ Natsume and Ruka's classmate, so it made sense that they are discussing something about their class assignments or so, right? (I pointed this out more for my own comfort, since sadly; they are not even bothered to take out any stationery let alone books or notes).

Nonetheless, I kept reminding to myself, 'Think about nothing….think about nothing….' for God knows how long, while Mikan started to write our plan or her notebook. At this point, my treacherous mind could not help but admiring her beautiful face while she was re-reading her own handwriting and tapping her fingers gently on her notebook.

That's exactly the time I saw Kokoroyomi turned his head around, looking straight at me with somewhat a mocking grin.

I know now for sure that I _am_ being _singled out_.

-- to be continued --

A/N: Phew…another part's finally finished. Hope you enjoy this part as much as before (or even more I hope). Thank you for your reviews: **natsumeluvr**, **lysabelle**, **Milisant**, and **glenda23 **your supports make me eager to write more and more. Hope that my writing spirit will not cause Tetsuya too much trouble though (grinning wickedly).

NB: Once again, thanks for the feedback from **crazygirl18**, I have updated this part with some slight changes here and there and the outlook seemed better than before (at least that's what I thought, lol).


	5. First Story Part 4

Disclaimer: As much as I wanted to make Gakuen Alice to be mine. Sadly, it's still not mine as per today.

**CURSING LOVE**

**First Story: Is Love Really a Bad Thing? **

_**Part 4 **_

-- IX --

The absurdity of the whole scenes that happened to me this entire afternoon seemed lessening my patience level into subzero. To add things worse, I cannot wipe away the feeling of being watched and it suffocated me gradually. It even made me wonder whether I would be able to survive from this total havoc inside my head. It made me wondered whether I am suffering some mental or psychological disorder without I even realized it before.

I constantly reminded myself over and over again that I was only overreacting due to the sudden overwhelming attention from the people around me today.

As a matter of fact, I never like to be the center of attention. No, that sentence was not strong enough for me. I _loathe_ any kind of overwhelming attentions since they were somehow kept pulling me back into my almost forgotten memories; haunting me with every single detail of the past that I have been trying for so long to forget.

Many people in my town always said that I must be feeling very happy to catch people's attention with my alice. Well, they surely got it wrong. In fact, I never thought too high about myself in the first place. I never liked my alice, I even hated it most of the times. How would I ever like that ability? The answer surely is; never, not when even my own mom kept a distance and treating me like I am some sort of alien or even worse; a freak.

I remembered it very vividly as if it was just yesterday; the memory of my mom kept insisted on bringing me to this or that famous pediatrician or other kind of specialists, seeking for the imaginary and yet-to-be-found drugs that could cure me as if I suffered some kind of terminal illness.

My parents were always arguing about me; on how to raise me, whether I should go to school like any other kids, whether it was wise to let me wander outside without having them around or other heart wrenching kind of arguments. I never knew the reason why my parents kept arguing about me. All I knew was every time I had a chance to sneak out from my home, the quarrels would be worsened and more frequent than before.

It was as if the last straw has been drawn. The last time I sneaked out from my house to play with other children around the neighborhood resulting with the fact that my father never returned home again. Not once.

That was the day the first time my alice was exposed to the public to see. Ever.

When I was older and more mature, I started to learn the truth about the cause of sadness that lingered within my family. I started to shunt away that part of myself; my alice. I kept restraining myself not to show my 'ability' to anyone (not that I was good at it at the beginning, but at least it was not as bad as before when I could not even control it at all).

I have to admit, sometimes; not only once or twice, I could not suppress the urge to let it out to the open. I always wanted for the people to know me for who I really am. But I knew it would only bring more sadness to my mom. Since my father left us she has stopped crying and just let me do anything I wanted, which saddened me all the more.

I did try with the best effort I could muster to never let my mom suffered more than she already had because me, especially my alice. It was when I knew that all the suppression I have been hiding beneath my soul has cost me to hate myself even more than I already did.

It was like sunlight finally came to my family when some people with black suited dresses come to my house to meet my mom. That was when I was eleven years old. Shortly after their arrival, my mum hugged me and said I would finally have a chance to go to school just like any other kids. My mom knew that it was all I ever wanted before; went to a school and met other kids with the same age as me and no longer trapped with home schooling anymore.

Still, I was hesitating for a while whether it was really the thing that I wanted the most. I never had a chance to speak with any adults beside my own parents and hardly made any normal conversation with other children in my neighborhood due to my 'condition.' Negative thoughts kept invading me; whether the new people in this school would like me, whether my mom would be lonely and other crazier thoughts. However, without having an opportunity to sort out my messy thoughts, the limousine stopped in front of the school gate. In front of the big gate I read the sign for the very first time: 'Alice Academy.'

-- X --

I never knew that there is a school with such a tremendous size before. My town alone is not nearly as big as this and I definitely never imagined myself that I would be studying in such an exquisite place at least not when I have already given up hope to attend any ordinary school beside home schooling anyway.

I could recall clearly my feeling that were composed of excitements, fear and nervousness that day as it became one of the most memorable days in Alice Academy.

I met Narumi sensei soon after I stepped inside the Main Building. He showed me my new class in the Elementary Branch that I would be attending. I saw a small golden B letter hanging outside the classroom before Narumi sensei pushed my back gently to go inside.

The scenery inside the classroom was nowhere near ordinary. Weird is not even enough to portray the whole situation since the students were freely showing their alices without any hesitation. Most of the students were looking at me with great interests when Narumi sensei introduced me in front of the class. However I cannot help but felt a slight pang when I noticed that as fast as their curiosity arose once they saw me, the interest died down in a matter of seconds and all of them resumed their own activities.

Once I finally concluded that making friends apparently would never be my greatest strength, she came and greeted me with her big smile. Introducing herself as Mikan Sakura, she grabbed the arm of the girl sitting nearby, mentioning this girl; Hotaru Imai as her best friend in the whole universe. Hotaru looked as expressionless as ever and only stared at Mikan while she was busily mentioned every name of the classmates with her finger pointed out here and there.

Shortly after that introduction, a boy with glasses came and shook my hand; mentioning that he was busy on some class arrangements before he got a chance to introduce himself to me. Soon after, I found out that he was Yuu Tobita, the class president for B Class Elementary Branch while Hotaru Imai was the vice president (much to my surprise).

When I was heading towards the door after the class finished for my first day in Alice Academy, I heard somebody calling my name. It was the same girl who greeted me this morning and she was still wearing the same smile. At much later time, I noticed that the smile she wore that day was her very own trademark that never ceased to make my heart fluttered. She said that she would be more than happy to guide me around the school. When I asked why she bothered herself to do such thing (I was not much of a talker and making a normal conversation with kids at my age was still definitely a foreign concept for me back then, I supposed), I was left speechless by her answer.

Much to my surprise she simply said, "Because I want to be your friend, Honda-Kun."

Something in her expression and her sincerity made my heart beating faster and sent warmth all over my body. For the first time in my life I felt _happy_ to have my alice. It was because of my alice after all I went to Alice Academy and had a chance to meet her, my _very _first friend.

-- XI --

Sudden tap on my shoulder startled me and pulled me back to reality.

It was Mikan, looking concerned and a bit worried.

Out of embarrassment, I stuttered "Ah, I am so..sorry Sakura-Chan. Could you repeat your last question?"

"I just mentioned that we will need to arrange the timetables with other school branches because there is a limit for the visiting hours…" She looked at me again and added, "Are you sure that you're alright? You looked a bit pale and sweating.."

"I'm alright Sakura-Chan, don't worry about me." I tried to give her a reassuring smile.

Yet, she was not satisfied with my answer and I jerked in surprise as she put her right hand on my temple and her left hand on her own temple as if comparing the heat. I could feel my face growing hot. I did not need to see my face at the mirror to know that my face would be as red as tomatoes by now.

I grabbed the cup in front of me in a hurried gesture to disguise my nervousness. However, I yanked it as soon as my fingers touched its surface. I was very surprised to find out that my cup was _burningly_ hot and slightly scalded my fingers. I thought that by now the tea inside my cup supposed to be _colder_. Thus, it seemed to be impossible for the cup to be this hot. At a second thought, as far as I recalled, it was _not_ this hot anyway when we had it served before.

Unless…….

Instantaneously I looked at _that_ person across our table. He was still fixedly looking at my direction with eyes that would make any normal person shivered. It made me wonder whether he has ever moved his gaze to other direction all this time. It made me think about the possibility of him being the culprit behind my burning cup. He is indeed the _only _flame caster in the _entire_ Alice Academy. Yet his seemingly growing hatred towards me for no visible reason in a time frame less than 24 hours seemed ridiculous and even laughable.

As long as I remembered, I never attract any kind of attentions once I entered Alice Academy. In here all of us have alices and blowing bubbles can be considered normal (since there are crazier alices other than me anyway). Thus, nobody in here treated me the way my parents or the people in my town anymore and I was no longer catching anyone attention (it is a very pleasant thing and I am very contented with this fact).

At least up until today….

-- XII --

"Oh my God, are you alright?" Mikan's yelped awakened me from my stupor. She reached my hand and looked at my scalded fingers.

"Yeah, I guess I was just a bit clumsier than usual today.." I grinned at her nervously.

"But…" before she could finish her sentence, the same cold voice that I have heard not too long ago once again broke into our conversation.

"Don't you hear it clearly, Cherries, that he _is _alright? If you asked me, I think you need to check your hearing. I've heard that you could lose your hearing if you're staying in the tea lounge for _too long_." I noticed a mocking concern in his tone when he spoke to her.

Both of us looked at the person who just spoke to us. It was _him_ again. I did not even realize since when he was standing next to Mikan.

"Thanks for your _unwelcome_ concern, pervert! I've heard what Honda-Kun said crystal clear. However, I am _worried _whether he's alright because his fingers were burnt." Mikan answered coldly before added hesitantly "Well, I guess that must be because of the tea was too hot…"

"_Was_ it? I am _truly_ sorry for you, Honda-_San_…" he spoke with a calm manner although his tone was nowhere near sorry. "My...my... you should be _more_ careful next time if I may suggest, Honda-_San_." I could even swear I saw a hint of a smirk although his eyes were still as cold as before and glinting with malice when he finally spoke _directly_ to me.

"Hey, Polka-Dots, don't you think you need to go somewhere now that the discussion is _over_?"

I noted that his expression somewhat softened when he spoke to Mikan, as if the glacier in his eyes melted a bit.

"Eh? I don't recall that I need to go somewhere after this…" answered Mikan while biting her nails as if trying to remember.

"Don't you think you need to find your missing stationery? Or do you suggest that tomorrow Jinno will be happy to see you come to his class without it?"

Then he added with a lighter tone as if trying to suppress his laugh, "Not that it makes any difference to you anyway"

I was shifting at my seat uncomfortably because by the end of his sentence, both Ruka and Kokoroyomi chose to appear at his side.

"Ah, you're right Natsume, Jin-Jin will definitely put me on another detention if he finds out that I am not bringing any stationery to his class." Mikan concluded much to my dismay.

"I guess I have to make my move now, Honda-Kun. We can discuss all the things that we have not covered today during the break time tomorrow or so, I think." Mikan said with an apologetic look on her face.

"It's perfectly fine, Sakura-Chan. We can catch up tomorrow." I managed to suppress my disappointments of letting her go. All the while when I gave my answer, somehow I knew three pairs of eyes other than Mikan's were also staring at me and still continued to do so as I stood up and gather my belongings.

Mikan smiled at me then looked at Ruka and Kokoroyomi "Hi Ruka-Pyon, Kokoroyomi… So I guess you were discussing about some schoolwork like us as well? I never thought that this pervert has any interests on school matters in the first place."

"Some schoolwork's indeed Sakura-Chan." Kokoroyomi grinned wickedly while throwing an amused look at me which earned him a sharp jab from Ruka who was standing beside him.

Not even bothered to look at the commotion between his two friends, Natsume grabbed Mikan's hand and said "Let's go."

"You want to help me finding my stationery?" Mikan looked slightly surprised with Natsume's action.

"Do you think you will _ever_ manage to find it on your own, Polka-dots?" he smirked.

Mikan sighed for a second before literally being dragged by the black cat towards the exit of the tea lounge. However, I still could hear her asking "Hey, how could you know that I lost my stationery anyway, Natsume?"

She asked the same thing as what I thought a while ago.

As if confirming what I have been thinking, Kokoroyomi looked straight at me with a mixed expression between amusement and (God, please let me be wrong) pity. I should have known it _better_.

Then while still wearing the same mocking grin, he walked towards the exit without even bothered to ask Ruka whether he wanted to join him or not.

I guess he did _not_ need to do so since for the first time in my history of studying in Alice Academy; Ruka Nogi was starting a conversation with _me_.

"We need to talk, Honda."

His sentence was short, yet his tone gave the air of finality that made it impossible for me to refuse no matter how _reluctant_ I was with this _conversation_. Having the prospect to speak personally to the second coldest student in the whole Middle School Branch was somewhat _appalling_ for me.

From the expression that was etched on his face, I knew that whatever he wanted to say to me was definitely something that I did _not _want to _hear_.

-- to be continued --

**A/N:** Wow, as per today, this was by far the longest part that I have written. For the whole day I have been working on this part. I did want to upload it much faster, however sometimes I had to rethink and re-write the story again to make sure that all of the events are there for _a_ _reason_ (smiling). I am so sorry if this part somewhat offered more anguish rather than humour. Still, I have been trying to portray myself if I was in Tetsuya's shoes (God, it smells, do not even bother trying it, guys hahahah) and somewhat I thought his feelings portrayed in here is somewhat made him more real and… human, I guess.

**Thank you very much for all the reviews:**

To **Cat4826**, **nikkiru**, **lysabelle**, **glenda23**, **proffesional**, **Azurana K**, and **Honey Kun**; _thanks a lot for your support and reviews. I hope you like this part._

For other readers, please do give me your reviews so that I can improve my story.

Okay, on my way to write the next part heheheheh……..

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	6. First Story Part 5

Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice is not mine……

**CURSING LOVE**

**First Story: Is Love Really a Bad Thing? **

_**Part 5**_

-- XIII --

The west wing study hall of Middle School Branch is always quite empty around late afternoon time. Most of the students prefer either to spend their afternoon time in their own rooms, the tea lounge, or just to take a walk outside since the weather seems more agreeable lately.

There are four study halls in total for every school branch in Alice Academy. The name might sound a bit dull and somehow scared away some jocks who are afraid of tarnishing their reputations since girls might mistakenly took them as nerds. However, for those who knew it better, these halls are anything but dull.

The school has made it perfectly clear that all the students will be at least feeling a little closer to home once they entered Alice Academy. This is very important (emphasized and explained with great details in _Manual to a Happy Life in Alice Academy_; the library's dreariest book I have ever loaned so far) since most of us will spend our time here until we graduate from High School Branch. However, some of the students here have left their families since very young and probably barely remembered what their home looked like let alone missed it.

Nevertheless, the school management indeed puts a lot of efforts (a little too enthusiastically for my taste if I might add) in designing every room, hall and other simpler things around the academy to make sure that the students at their best comfort.

The same thing goes for the study halls. The halls were designed with such tremendous style that they looked more like extravagant living rooms rather than solely study rooms. There are two fireplaces at both ends of the hall and they would be lit during winter or by the students' requests. In the center of the room, there is one grand piano that can be played anytime by anyone who has sense of music or daring enough to try to play a tuneless music at his/her own risk of being attacked by alices from agitated audience.

There are different sets of sofas and couches spread all across the hall for the students to choose based on their own preferences. As the final touch, all the study halls are always furnished with books, novels, mangas and other leisure reading materials that being placed neatly at the book racks alongside the walls. The books here are nowhere near the library's massive collection and somewhat offered amusement rather than study materials (I still could not figure it out why the school management were bothered to name these rooms as study halls when all the books they provide here are always comprise of somewhere between 'Gone with the Wind' and 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus').

However, now it is not the right time for me to question the ludicrous details about the halls, the grand piano, the settees, the books, or other _smaller_ stuffs inside the study hall when I got a _bigger_ problem in front of me.

Here I am, sitting at the sofa inside the west wing study hall, face to face with Ruka Nogi. Despite feeling slightly anxious, I still could not decipher _where_ the next conversation might lead me to.

-- XIV --

I did not know since when I have become very good at observing people. Probably seeing as I used to live in the world that only evolved around my parents with little opportunity to socialize with others due to my 'condition,' that now I always find it fascinating to scrutinize people; especially when they also have alices just like me. It never fails to entice me to observe the other students here and to know their responses towards their alices. It is not always that _easy_ for me to be observant; however I managed to somehow excel at it now.

Almost similar with his best friend, Ruka Nogi always has an aura of a person who is lonely and somewhat troubled. The one thing that is very different between Ruka Nogi and the black cat's air is _hatred_. While the latter always has the air thick of hatred and anger, Ruka's is more of sadness and suppressed feelings.

The two of them always keep a constant distance from the others, especially girls. Yet, tragically as it might sound, both of them were always being surrounded by people who showered them with admiration and somewhat envy. Even most of the girls found them intriguing and falling in love with them almost instantly. I even knew from the whispers here and there, that there are some sorts of fans clubs dedicated to both of them.

Ever since we entered Middle School Branch, I have been passing their class everyday to go to mine. Since my class is slightly further from the main stairs next to their class, there is no other option than to do so. During all these days they were never even bothered themselves to take a mere second and looked at me; let alone spoke to me. All they ever did were standing outside their class as if _waiting _for _something_ or _someone_. And this morning the routine was still the same.

So it was easy to deduce that what made both of them suddenly took sudden interest out of me must be _something_ that happened _after_ this morning. The next question was; what was it? Was it because of something that I did somehow offend them?

Still, _did_ I really want to _know_ the reason in the first place?

Nevertheless, in the end I did not have a chance to decide on this anyway. I braced myself before starting the conversation with the owner of a pair of eyes that always covered with forlorn loneliness.

-- XV --

"So…what do you want Nogi?" I sighed, realized it a bit too late that my question was somehow impolite.

He looked straight at me, totally unabashed with my rudeness and only said, "I just asked out of curiosity… Do you _happen_ to like Mikan-_Chan_?"

_That_ was something I was totally unprepared of.

"Why do you ask _such_ question? I am not trying to be _rude_ or something but I do _not_ think I _owe_ you any kind of _explanation_ about this." I tried to look nonchalant as I struggled to look for a proper yet not too revealing kind of answer. I could not help but to feel relieved of the fact that at least that _troublesome_ Kokoroyomi was not around when I answered him.

"I know you do not have to explain anything about how you feel or might feel about Mikan-Chan." He stated while still staring intently at me. "And I do not expect you to do so as well."

"However, I am _more_ interested with what _would_ you _do_ about _it,_" he spoke calmly; tried to decipher my expression.

"I am afraid that's _none_ of _your_ business, Nogi." I answered coldly.

"Well, this is where you were _wrong_, Honda. _Everything_ related with _Mikan Sakura_ is _my_ business."

His statement surprised me. I was not even sure whether it was a joke or not.

"What do you mean by _that_, Nogi? Are you saying that you're _in love_ with Sakura-Chan?"

"I think you _misheard_ me here, Honda. I _never_ said _anything_ about _love_. I am merely pointed out the fact that I have put my _interest_ in everything concerning Mikan Sakura."

"I am afraid I don't see any _difference _between _my_ question and _your_ statement."

"Let's just say it is _simply_ because I do not want to see anybody _hurt_."

It was more like a statement rather than an answer towards my previous question.

He stood up and ready to leave when after a second of hesitation he finally spoke again.

"I just hope that you will make _the_ _right_ choice, Honda. Mikan-Chan, I am afraid, is way _out_ of your _reach_."

I was too stunned with his sentences that I did not have anything to say. I did not even realize it when he left and closed the door of the study hall that grew even more silent than before.

I was not sure whether it was a good thing or not. However, at least now I _know_ the _exact _cause of all the uproar that happened to me this whole afternoon; _Mikan Sakura_.

-- XVI --

I did not even bother myself to return to my room first before having my dinner. I was too tired to even think straight and not in the mood to go back and forth. I had to literally drag my feet to go to the cafeteria and grab a quick dinner before went straight back to my room.

The last conversation with Ruka Nogi has exhausted my brain. He seemed hiding his original intention and under all those _subtleties_, I was not even sure what he intended to say to me in the first place. Still, I could not stop reviving the short conversation with him inside the study hall.

Should he not in love with Mikan, then why he had to go through all the trouble to know whether I loved her or not. _No_, that was not _correct_. He did _not_ ask whether I _loved_ her or _not_. He only asked what _I would_ _do_ about _it_.

To be honest with myself, I did not know. All I did know was the fact that she was someone _special_ to me. She was the first girl I knew here and happened to be my _very_ first friend not only in Alice Academy but also in my whole life. I like her _more_ than _all the people _in the whole academy combined together. Still, what Ruka said just a moment ago, has awakened something that I _never_ thought of before.

What would I do with my feelings for her? I was so stupid for not thinking about it in the first place. But what could I do? If I confessed my feeling to her, would it scare her away or even worse than that; _ruin_ our friendship?

-- XVII --

It was already quite dark outside when I was walking near the park with the cafeteria just around the corner. However I still could see through the dim lights around the park to know that there were people sitting under the sakura tree.

I could not help smiling after a sense of recognition came and hit my mind that it was the girl whom I have been thinking _the most_ today. All the trouble in my mind seemed to disappear.

I was on my way to greet her when I noticed _the_ _other_ figure sitting next to her. It was the person that I would like to see _the_ _least_ after the whole thing that happened to me this afternoon. Or a person very much similar like him I thought, because what he did at the moment, was something I have never seen him doing before.

At least until today…

Natsume Hyuuga was _laughing_. It was not a mere _smirk_, a mocking _grin_, or even a _cynical_ laugh. It was a _laugh_ far from all pretenses; sounded _genuine_ and _sincere_ from his heart. He hardly ceased his laughter when Mikan said something to him with a torn expression between annoyance and exasperation etched vividly on her beautiful face. And to me it was very much looked like he was having the best time of his life and could not even care less about anything else _except_ the person sitting next to him.

Suddenly I was _no_ longer hungry anymore...

-- to be continued --

**A/N:** Finally, I have managed to finish another part. Please give me some feedback, I will be forever grateful.

_**Thank you so much for those who have reviewed me so far:**_

**lysabelle**, **nikkiru**, **natsumeluvr**, **babeemei**, **Azurana K**, **babee-angel**, and **wiwionly**. I am really…. genuinely happy to read all of your comments.

To **Azurana K**, thanks a lot for your feedback. I truly appreciate your comments so that I can improve my writing quality for the better. Hope next time you will still give me your feedback. Rock on girl heheheheh!!!

And to **crazygirl18**, I have re-uploaded all parts of my story based on your suggestion. Thanks a lot, you're the best girl with a twinge of craziness (lame, hahahah).


	7. First Story Part 6

Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice belongs to Tachibana-Sensei, not mine…

**CURSING LOVE**

**First Story: Is Love Really a Bad Thing? **

_**Part 6**_

-- XVIII --

I let the darkness took over my room. I did not trouble myself to turn on the lights. Actually, I did not even bother to do anything soon after I hit my bed. All I ever did was just staring numbly at the ceiling for God knows how long. Sadness was not a new feeling for me since it practically has always been a part of me before I entered Alice Academy. Still, I have never felt as hollow and empty as now. Nevermore I thought that I would feel this way because of her of all people.

The scenery I just witnessed awhile ago has been played in my mind over and over again. Yet I could not really absorb what I have seen back there. Was my own eyes playing trick on me? Was it truly Natsume Hyuuga; the infamous black cat, the coldest student ever in Alice Academy, whom I just saw laughing with Mikan?

If it was him, why did he somehow look very different? It seemed at that moment, he was no longer emitting hatred and anger. He looked almost _contented_. And if there are words that sound completely out of place for Natsume Hyuuga; '_contented_' I believed will definitely be one of them.

As if trying to make myself suffer even more; I began to dwell on the possible causes that might explain his odd behavior. Was it because of Mikan? If it really was because of her, then what was the reason? I just hope that probably it might not mean anything. Yet somewhere deep inside my heart I already knew the answer, no matter how hard I tried to deny it.

Still, I will never give her up, neither to him nor anyone else. I could not let myself do that. For all I know, she is too precious for me to let go.

The words from my earlier conversation with Ruka Nogi stung my heart as an understanding comes into my mind.

'_I just hope that you will make **the right** choice, Honda. Mikan-Chan, I am afraid, is way **out **of your reach.'_

Nevertheless, now I feel that I could not even care less about his warning. Not when I finally have made my _choice_.

I will _chase_ her even if that means I have to confront _him_ in the end. And if I would be _condemned_ because of it, then let it be.

Because she's _worth_ it.

-- XIX --

I wake up startled with both eyes open wide. It is already morning and when I glanced at my watch, I know I will definitely be late today.

I rushed off directly to my class after a very quick shower. I skipped breakfast and ran towards my class as if there is no tomorrow.

Thankfully, I managed to halt my steps when I saw a figure ran and almost hit me by centimeters.

"Ouch…" she yelped.

It was _Mikan_.

"Be careful, Sakura Chan." I said. I could not help but felt slightly embarrassed upon seeing her for the very first time after I made my resolution yesterday.

"Ah, it's you, Honda-Kun. I never thought that you would be late as well today." She smiled.

"Ah…yeah, I slept late yesterday. And if we don't go now I guess we will be even later than what we already are." I answered jokingly although inwardly I had to admit that I didn't mind it at all if that really happened.

She just slightly chuckled and ran after me.

It seemed to me that my morning was not that bad after all.

Or at least that was what I thought before we arrived at the top of the staircase leading to the way to where our classroom is.

-- XX --

There they were, standing at their usual posts in front of their classroom door just like any other day, as if waiting for something or someone.

And now I know that all this time, they were indeed waiting for _someone_….

Once Mikan reached the topmost ladder, only a couple of seconds behind me, Natsume Hyuuga's voice broke into the midst of the morning silence. He did not even wait for us (or Mikan especially) to catch up our breath to speak out his mind with an irritated tone embedded in every word that he spoke. Between Mikan's and my own panting, his voice was loud and clear.

"Polka-dot, you come even later than usual today. Don't tell me that all those crazy alarm clocks I bought from Imai didn't work for you?" He scowled.

Somehow he looked even angrier when he noticed my _presence_.

"And could you fill me in on why on earth you come with _him_ such early in the morning?" He jerked his head to my direction.

I noticed that he did not even bother to cover up his displeasure towards me _anymore_ now.

"Cut it out, Pervert. We are already late and I don't have any time to explain such a nonsensical question of yours." said Mikan.

In a hurried tone she added, "Let's go, Honda-Kun."

Without even bothered to look at him, Mikan ran towards our class and slightly gestured me to do the same thing as her.

However, before I managed to move, I caught a glimpse of him watching Mikan passed by. Even for only a mere second, I could swear I saw hurts penetrate his eyes. Just in time when he realized that Ruka and I were still watching him, he concealed his bare emotion almost as quickly as when it accidentally showed up.

After looking at me with a very obvious resentment he slowly walked towards the staircase. With regret and sadness apparent in his eyes, soon Ruka followed his best friend quietly.

It was evident that the black cat was not in a mood to go to his class today. As for the cause, I could not help but to shudder a bit. I began to comprehend the probability that somehow I was the reason of his (now) _ruined_ day.

I knew I could never run from his wrath, especially seeing the fact that we have the same _interest_. And from the hatred that he just showed openly to me, there was a high chance that somehow he was aware about the truth that we are falling for the _same_ person.

I just hope that there will be no avenge taken from the infamous fire caster once he truly realized this _unfortunate_ similarity between us.

-- XXI --

As I have expected, once I entered my class Jinno sensei did not look happy at all. It was a close call of having a week's worth detention. Much to my relief, he let me go since I was a first time offender after all.

When I sat at my desk just beside the window, I saw a small peace of paper was thrown on top of my desk. It was from Mikan.

As I gave her a questioning look, she mouthed a whispered word, "Open it."

I read her paper.

_What happened? I thought you were just behind me. What took you so long?_

I just shook my head a bit. Shortly after, she threw another piece of crumpled paper at me.

In that piece of paper, I found her hand writing once again, only this time it was messier than before, as if she wrote it in a hurry.

_Did that pervert go back to his class after I left?_

Knowing the fact that Mikan worried about _him_ made me feel a bit jealous. Somehow I want to just lie and tell her that he _really_ went back to his class. But once I saw her anxious look, I just could not bring myself to do that. I thought inwardly that I would not stoop that low to win over her heart.

Finally I whispered the word, "No."

Upon seeing my lips gesturing the word she looked somewhat _crestfallen_.

Somehow I felt my chest hurt. I did not want to see her miserable. And the fact that I knew the reason why she was cheerless devastated my heart even more.

I tried to convince myself that Mikan was probably just being nice. I know her very well that she was the type of person who could not let anyone be hurt by her even for the slightest. She might just feel _guilty_ after she spoke a tad to harsh to him a moment ago.

While I was busy pacifying my muddled emotions, I found myself being watched (much to my surprise) by none other than her best friend; Hotaru Imai.

Once she knew that I have realized her watching me, with the usual expressionless face she mouthed clearly a word that _very_ much looked like "Baka."

--XXII --

It never stops to amaze me to learn the fact that Mikan and Hotaru are best friends. It is very hard to find two people with completely different personalities like them who can stay be friends for such a long time.

And the evidence that Mikan entered Alice Academy because of Hotaru Imai proved the depth of their friendship. Still, their ways to show affection and treat each other are just too bizarre for me. It always begins and ends up the same, like a daily ritual for both of them. The pattern of Mikan being called "baka" after Hotaru shot her with the famous baka gun every time she showered her best friend her utmost attention.

Nevertheless, it was uncommon for Hotaru to call anyone else beside Mikan 'baka.' I did not understand why she said that to me or her sudden curiosity on me. It was so unlike her to be interested in things other than her own inventions or rabbits (common knowledge for all the alumni of Elementary Branch class B).

I did not understand what she meant by saying 'baka' to me just now. However, I could not take her remarks lightly as if it meant nothing. For all I know, despite her lack of apparent emotions and knack of blunt remarks, she was also very _perceptive_. As I am also an observant person, I knew it very well that she would not say something _unnecessary_.

Unless….

I shivered a little upon the thought that maybe… just maybe… she took notice of my interest on her best friend. Still, that did not help explaining her action. It was too cruel even for her to think that it was impossible for guys to fall for Mikan. So I crossed out this possibility. But what else could be the reason?

Left pondering at my unanswered thoughts, I inhaled deeply, tried to resort back my somewhat now messier mind. At this point, I will have to put Hotaru's odd action aside. Now I have _better_ things to think and act seeing as I have decided to pursue Mikan's love. I did not have better options to do that than somewhat being closer to her rather than only be mere friends like we are currently. Thank God, I have a lot of good excuses to spend more time with her since SA class will have this upcoming event at Alice Hospital.

When Jinno Sensei already stepped out from the class and the next lecturer has not showed up yet, I walked towards Mikan's desk; with a body language that I hope appeared to be cool rather than nervous.

"Hi, Sakura-Chan."

"Oh, hi, Honda-Kun. Is there anything that I could help you?" she spoke and I noted her _lack_ of cheerfulness still lingered within her.

"Yeah, you know about this SA event. I think we should have some materials prepared. You know… stuffs and all." I said and hastily added "Since we are the one in-charge for the Middle School Branch, I suggest that we could do some shopping together."

"Uuum…"

I could not help but feel slightly _dejected_ upon hearing her unintelligible answer.

Thus I opted to speak again, "If you don't want to do that, then I could go with the others, I guess…"

She looked at me and smiled, "No, Honda-Kun, I will be happy to go shopping for the necessities with you. Still, we have to gather with the others and hear what their opinions first about what would we do and such before we bought anything."

"Uh, I agree with you. Well, we can easily inform Seiji and Okita to gather for awhile after class ends today since they are here anyway." I nudged at the direction of both of our classmates.

"Well, let me inform Reika-Chan and Minoru-Kun from the other class during the class break while you inform both of them." She decided, much _too_ quickly according to my opinion.

"That's OK for me." I don't have any other option than to agree with her since she has decided it anyway, right?

Slightly feeling self-conscious, I asked her again a bit shyly, "Eh, Sakura-Chan, do you think we should go to Central Town this Sunday? No matter what, we still have to buy the stuffs we need anyway be it sooner or later, right?"

I just hope my _real _reason was not that obvious. At these kinds of times, I could not help but to feel grateful that Mikan was always a bit _slow_ when it comes to feelings or understanding subtlety.

Much to my pleasure she answered, "Yes, I guess it is better for us to go there as soon as possible. We can have a chance to look around and make comparison so we will have the best stuffs for the event."

I nodded gladly upon hearing her answer. Soon I noticed that the next lecturer has come so I went back to my chair quickly.

And that's when I saw _it_.

A medium-sized white parrot was standing on the window sill closed to where I sat. I did not know since when this bird was there. As crazy as it might sound, I could swear that the bird was staring at me intently in a way that so not a bird-like kind of stares. Oddly enough, I could not help but wondering whether the bird eavesdropping me all this time (I have to remind myself that I was not _that_ lunatic to believe that a mere bird could do things like eavesdropping).

Just in time when I was wondering whether it was a _normal_ thing for a parrot to be _here_ of all places, it flew away.

However, not before I heard it croaked, "Gotcha."

I almost fell off from my chair at the sudden outburst from the bird. Thankfully, the classroom still filled with laughter and chatters as the lecturer has not started any lesson and was still busily preparing his teaching materials. Among all these noises, I believe (the word _hope_ will be more correct and consoling in this kind of situation according to my opinion) that nobody has heard or seen the peculiar thing that happened just before my eyes a moment ago.

I could not figure out the uncanny events in my life that seemed to be increasing in intensity and frequency recently. Nevertheless, I have to admit that this bird was by far the _strangest_ thing that ever happened to me. And of course, the 'baka' word from Hotaru Imai followed closely for the category (as if there is a rank system among all the bizarre incidents that happened to me so far). I just hoped that as wild as these two events might appear, there was no way on earth that both incidents could be _connected _somehow.

Nevertheless, much to my own irritation, my traitorous heart screamed _otherwise_.

-- XXIII --

I never had any kinds of premonition before that the day I met Mikan Sakura was the beginning of me bode my normal days, '_Bye bye_.' As much as I missed my old quiet life before I entangled myself in such constant _bizarre_ situations, I was very much aware that I could not _undo_ all the things I have done so far.

Slowly I began to understand that since the day I fell for her, I knew, I have reached _the point of no return_.

-- to be continued --

**A/N:** Another part has finished much to my satisfaction (wink).

As usual, I want to say thank you for all your supports and reviews.

To **babee-angel**, **natsumeluvr**, **Milisant**, **-xpressionless-**, **proffesional**, **b0n!ToL0v3rs**, **Azurana K**, **wannab mendo's**, **babeemei**, **lysabelle** and **wiwionly**, I really appreciate all your comments.

I will try to improve my writing for the better, "Fight-Oh!!" (smiling).

Another part to write… (rustling and typing sound).


	8. First Story Part 7

_Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice belongs to Tachibana-Sensei. This is the main reason why for sure it is not mine… _

**CURSING LOVE**

**First Story: Is Love Really a Bad Thing? **

_**Part 7**_

-- XXIV --

The classroom was already empty since half an hour ago. Still, there was no sign of Mikan Sakura coming to the class like what we have planned before. All the five of us from the Special Ability class have gathered inside the class for almost twenty-five minutes now. I began to feel slightly anxious yet I could not fully comprehend the reason of this uneasiness inside of me. She was indeed looked slightly off color and less talkative during all the lessons today. Even Narumi Sensei noticed the difference and asked her during his class whether she was sick or something. When she answered that she was fine he nodded with concern; as if trying to decipher the real reason of Mikan not being her usual self today. Sadly, I knew the reason _better _than he did.

She went out from the class for the lunch break so fast even before Serio Sensei finished gathering her teaching materials. It was very uncommon for her to do such things since all along I know her habit very well. Normally, she would go with Yuu Tobita and Hotaru Imai to the cafeteria to have their lunch together. Sometimes, they went there with several alumni of Elementary Branch's Class B who are now become the members of the other class. Unfortunately for me, she would also be accompanied by the black cat and his inseparable best friend in the cafeteria most of her lunch times although I rarely saw both of them eating anything in there. Sometimes it made me think that their sole purpose to go to there in the first place was only to look after her, just like some sort of guardians in a fairy story. As lame as my thought was, I know that a big part of it was somehow true.

I tried to look for her during the lunch break shortly after she left the class to no avail.

Gloomily, I went back to the class in the hope that I would find her there although my expectation wasn't high.

It was almost like an automatic thing for me to do whenever I went inside the classroom; I looked at her empty seat. Somehow I always manage to go to the class before she comes. Unconsciously I always do that especially after I realized that my heart always flutters every time she greets me before going to her own seat. Today's after lunch period was no difference from any of those days. First thing I did when I entered the class was to glance at her seat. Inwardly I knew even before I really set my eyes at that spot that I would stare to an empty seat just like usual. However, today for the first time ever the scenery which used to make me very happy and hopeful, has made me felt a pang inside my chest. I realized it only too well that the most probable reason of her vacant seat today was somehow _originated _from the earlier event this morning.

-- XXV --

I went to look for her after another ten more minutes were spent waiting for her. I managed to conceal my real reason in front of the rest of the SA members from Middle School Branch on why I bothered myself to find her. Thankfully, none of them pursued the matter further. I knew it would not be very suspicious for me to do so since both of us are the committee for the SA event this time anyway. Thus it makes all the more reasonable for me trying to find my missing partner.

I have visited almost all the places in Alice Academy that I could think of but she was nowhere to be found at those places. That was when I remembered that I have not checked the park just around the cafeteria where the famous sakura tree stands. It was perfectly clear for the students in Alice Academy to know that it was the most likely place to find the black cat either reading his manga or just resting lazily under that tree. Somehow that fact alone has made almost anyone with a right mind instinctively avoiding the place.

Intuitively, I walked as quiet as I could when I arrived there, only left a short distance with the well-known tree. Then, as what I have expected only a moment ago, I saw them clearly; Mikan stood in front of the black cat who sat calmly under the sakura tree. He did not bother himself to see the person in front of him and merely continued reading his manga. Mikan, on the other hand, fixed her gaze intently on the boy sitting in front of her; somehow she looked angry and frustrated. I could only guess from her expression that what Natsume Hyuuga did somewhat made her disappointed.

I did not plan to eavesdrop on them; however, my curiosity got the best of me. I kept myself standing aside well-hidden behind the flowery bushes nearby which thankfully were close enough for me to see both of them and hear their conversation.

Most probably thinking that nobody would hear them or simply they did not care to check whether anyone would dare to pry on the black cat, they talked very loudly. It looked very much like they were on some kinds of heated arguments.

"Just what _exactly_ do you want now, Polka-Dots?" said Natsume Hyuuga mercilessly.

"I just want to know why you skipped your class for the whole day today," stated Mikan hesitatingly. Her lips trembled a bit as if restraining herself from crying. Her face somehow looked sad and flushed.

"My answer will remain the same, Little Girl, that it is none of your concern whether I skipped my class or not." Natsume spoke still refused to see the person standing in front of him. I could not see his expression since his eyes was veiled behind his bangs. Yet somehow I have the impression that all he ever wanted was to spoke the other way around.

"I really do not understand you, Natsume. Why do you always think so lightly about school and your friends? I believe Ruka-Pyon would also feel worry about you if you keep continuing doing things like this." Now Mikan was surely on the verge of crying. Her eyes now are all red and puffy. I was wondering whether the black cat was aware about this.

Nevertheless, from her trembling voice I believed he would notice that somehow he already managed to make her crying.

Finally Natsume Hyuuga raised his face from the manga he just read and faced her. His expression was unfathomable like usual. Still, I swear I could see a tint of sadness and regret from the corner of his eyes after he saw her expression.

"No need to _trouble_ yourself trying to understand me, Polka-Dots. I never asked you to do such thing in the first place," the black cat spoke with much softer tone although the coldness still lingered there.

"And don't worry about how Ruka might or might not feel since that's totally _not_ your concern," he continued with a harsher tone. Somehow I was so sure that a twinge of jealousy could be heard when he spoke the sentence.

"Why we have to go through this all over again, Natsume. I thought all along we are _friends_." When she finished her sentence, tears were streaming down her somewhat paler face.

Yet her reaction was _nothing_ compared to the expression etched on the black cat's flawless face upon hearing the last word from Mikan. He looked very much hurt and his face went even paler than Mikan's. And unlike this morning, he did not even try to conceal it. However, this time I was unsure about the cause. Was it because he was so sure that Mikan was completely oblivious with his expression and merely thought that nobody was snooping around? Or because her words were not something he expected her to say?

"I did not recall myself ever _agreeing_ with you to be friends, Little Girl," said Natsume dispassionately after he regained his composure.

Mikan's eyes widened, her lips trembled. She could only manage to say, "I see…"

She hesitated for a couple of seconds, as if waiting for a reply from the black cat to no avail. Finally after that seemingly fruitless effort, she gave up and started to walk away from the boy. However, I could see clearly from where I stood at the moment that although for only mere seconds, Natsume raised his right arm and stood up a bit from his sitting position. It was very much look like he was contemplating with his heart whether to stop her or not.

Still, at the last second he only opted to stand up and squeezing his palms into tight fists at both sides of his body. He continued staring at her running away from him as fast as she could and totally left unaware that a pair of eyes that used to be very cold now somehow looked much _humane_. It was full of emotions that even I could not decipher, especially considering that it was coming from a heartless person like Natsume Hyuuga.

I did not know whether it was wise for me to look after Mikan at this point. So I was left rooted at my spot for awhile before I realized a minute too late that it was a mistake for me to do so. It seemed that everything went on a slow motion as the black cat turned his back to look straight at me. At this point, I did not even dare to think about how long he knew that I was standing here all along.

All I ever knew was that for what it seemed only like a blink of an eye; he was standing unexpectedly in front of me. His expression was livid and covered with wrath that I never knew it could be possessed by anyone inside Alice Academy, let alone a mere Middle School student. Only at that time I realized the reason why he was famous as the flame caster in the whole school. His eyes went ablaze as if carved from fire and his body seemed to be engulfed with an implacable heat. I wanted to escape from this horrifying situation but just like a mouse trapped in a deadly venomous snake's gaze; I couldn't even break my eye contacts with him.

That's the time I heard him hissing acid words that sounded almost as cold as ice, "_Enjoying_ the scene, I believe?"

-- XXVI --

The sakura petals that fell quietly to the ground gave an almost dramatic air whenever the wind blew its branches lightly. It might send a cliché effect on a romantic story if the current situation was the opposite of what I was sadly facing at the moment. Now I sensed that my skin felt like being sliced each time a single petal came in contact.

It seemed like words have left my mind a long time ago that I was unable to utter any single word from my mouth. Still, it did not give any big effects on the situation in the first place. At least, the person standing menacingly in front of me did not bother to wait for an answer from me as he spoke once again.

"If there is a person I hate the most, it was an _eavesdropper_."

"No, I am _not_ an eavesdropper," that was what all I ever managed to answer him. It sounded so pathetic even for my own ears since I knew all along that I was doing what he just mentioned.

"I was looking for Sakura-Chan and it just happened that she was here," I added a little lamely for my taste.

"What do you want from her?" he asked coldly still without averting his fiery gaze from me.

I did not know what happened with me as I stared back at him as daring as I could force myself. Then, without even thinking about the grim consequences I answered, "Since it's between me and Sakura-Chan, I believe I don't have to explain _anything_ to you."

Upon hearing my bold statement his face went darker and more menacing than ever. He raised his right hand and a large fireball appeared from nowhere on his right palm.

"Care to _repeat _your statement?" threatened him. The flames dancing ominously as if strengthening the words from its possessor.

As I understood that I was on a losing end and whatever answer I gave him would not increase his somewhat dismal mood, I did not want to surrender myself just like that. I chuckled a bit in a manner so unlike my usual self that even I feel shocked upon hearing it.

I merely said airily, "Did you feel _that_ disturbed realizing that others might have some businesses with Sakura-Chan that not involving you even for the least bit?"

Before he got a chance to say anything, I added my statement without thinking twice, "If you care _so_ _much_ about her why you treated her that way. The _only_ thing I want to _repeat_ over and over again to you was the fact that she definitely deserves somebody _better_ than you."

His eyes widened for a second, as if he never expected that I have guts to say things like that. However, he regained his composure again. With a faster speed than any ordinary person could manage, he clicked his left hand. Suddenly fire encircling the ground where I stood at the moment. The fire around me was crackling and hissing, sending sizzling heat to my body. The flames sparkled with such intensity that made all the silhouettes from the trees and bushes were now nowhere to be found.

Amazingly, it seemed that all my fears inside were also gone along with all the shadows from the surrounding.

I roared staunchly before the darkness took over my consciousness, "If there is a person I hate the most, it was a _coward_."

Among all the flickers and gutters from the fire just a mere second before I closed my eyes shut, I swear I just saw it. For the first time in my life I saw a _defeat_ kind of expression loomed on the face of the unbeatable black cat whom was standing still in front of me.

Well, I guess it was a _bittersweet_ ending for me after all...

-- to be continued --

**A/N:** I am terribly sorry for my late update. I have had a bad cough for the past week during my holiday in my hometown. I feel very sad since I haven't got a chance to re-edit my other fanfics that I have uploaded when I was there since the unreliable Internet connection has driven me insane.

However, between my flu and writing my other fanfics, I guess this chapter was also a bittersweet ending for me as well (grinning). I hope you like this chapter even more than my previous ones. Don't forget to leave me your reviews. It really keeps me going when the things get though and my inspiration runs dry (lol).

**Thank you for all the reviews from my previous chapter: **_Phoenix of the Northern Lights, wiwionly, crazygirl18, lysabelle, proffesional, nina, babeemei, chefyan08, cupidsangel, Azurana K._ I truly appreciate your reviews and I will try to improve the quality of my writing (smilling).


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